It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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