Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
