i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
