i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
