so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
farters have to be the big spoon...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
