yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
