you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I'm jealous of your bromance
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
