i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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