If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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