Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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