can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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