so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
