Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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