If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
