I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm going to jail i love you
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
