How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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