these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
