good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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