A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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