Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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