so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
