um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
