Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
4 words: hood of his car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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