I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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