Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You were trust falling into bushes
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
