idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
