its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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