I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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