bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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