how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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