Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
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pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
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This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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