a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
