come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
