I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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