Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
