i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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