im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
