Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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