my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I didn't notice because vodka
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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