do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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