you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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