i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
