Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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