fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
