Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
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Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
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Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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