piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
