He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
