Can Purell be used as lube?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
