sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
