apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
