I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
