the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
