what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
