Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
