I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
