one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
