Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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