Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
