Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
