Kiss
Puke
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
