apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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