you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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