i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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