the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Welp...herpes.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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